By bad luck or bravery, you've found yourself as a member of the mobile deceased. This can be a confusing time for everyone. Not only do you have to come to terms with everything that's happened, it's likely that you'll be having major lifestyle changes, and with those changes comes many questions on how to take care of the new you. As a member of the recently-deceased reintegrated into society, there's a few major things you ought to know about your body that your doctor may not have had the answers to.

Always remember that when in doubt about the workings of your body, see a medical professional!

Q.) What kind of foods can I eat now that I'm a zombie?
A.) Unfortunately, your diet is limited. Eat only meat, poultry, fish, or eggs. Your stomach is the same as it always has been, but now you have the virus to break down your food rather than acid. Because it is unable to break down many non-meat foods, namely milk, breads, and plants, these objects will build up inside you and rot, causing damage to your interior which can spread through the rest of your body if unchecked. Eat your foods raw, as cooking the foods alters the composition of the cells, and interferes with the virus's ability to extract proteins. High-protein non-meat foods should be avoided. Avoid eating more than 4 eggs or 16 ounces (450 grams) of meat daily.

Q.) I haven't slept since I left my doctor, is this abnormal?
A.) Absolutely not. On the contrary, if you're feeling that you need to sleep or rest, it most likely means that your body is taking in too little food. "Sleeping" for a zombie is a way to preserve the body when the ability to recreate more viruses is not available. There's nothing wrong with a monthly nap, but "sleeping" more than once per week causes strain on the body and the mind. Lapsing into "sleep" can lead to anger, depression, dehabilitation, or an inability to wake up. If you do plan on "sleeping", make sure there's someone that can wake you up between 36 to 48 hours later. The easiest way to rouse a zombie from "sleep" is a smell. Never shock a "sleeping" zombie with sudden bursts of light, as it could lead to injury.

Q.) I think I'm damaged on the inside, because I've been bleeding from my mouth constantly. Could this be dangerous?
A.) This too is normal. An oil-like substance from the mouth denotes the end of a virus's life cycle. Batches of viruses flow to the stomach regularly after eating to
create new viruses, after which the original virus will die. The human one-way digestive tract is converted to a simpler two-way digestive tract, where unusable byproducts and dying cells are expelled through the mouth. The purpose of this was originally to increase infectivity of bites. While most viruses in the blood are dead or dying, often the new cells created from the process travel out through the mouth along with them, so avoid letting any living persons make contact with the substance. Ideally, this should not produce a smell, as your virus works to disassemble all invasive microorganisms to prevent bodily decay, which prevents the meat inside you from rotting at a normal rate. If you have torso wounds, you may notice that you'll be bleeding from them as well. This means your stomach has been ruptured, your other organs have failed to be preserved, or have been broken down to fuel your body. This is normal, but stitching the wound is vital to decrease possible infections of friends and family.

Q.) I've noticed I can lift much heavier objects than I could in life. Should I take advantage of this?
A.) Never. You're able to lift these things because your muscles cannot fatigue. However, muscle pain is a sign that your body is telling you stop what you're doing before you wound yourself. Without this warning sign, you'll have to know whether or not what you're doing is wise. Avoid lifting anything heavier than you could have easily lifted in life, as you could cause irreparable damage to your bones, muscles, and skin.

Q.) I'm afraid that I have bugs, should I take precautions to avoid insects?
A.) Zombies cannot harbor life forms on or in their bodies. Insects and their eggs, if trapped in the body, are inevitably broken down by your virus. This is your body's
natural defense against infestation. If you're having an uncomfortable feeling someplace in your body, most commonly the arms, torso, and neck, and your flesh feels like it's being aggravated from below, this is not a sign of bugs. These are viral hot spots, or "crankbugs". For the deceased, they may be more sensitive to touch than other parts of your body, extremely numb, or produce a burning sensation now and again. This, while incurable, and often uncomfortable, is normal.

Q.) I don't want to rot, how can I prevent this?
A.) Proper diet is the first step to longevity. Eat right and make sure you keep your body out of any compromising situations. Only clean yourself occasionally, as your body no longer produces oils which can build up and need to be removed. Never shower, and bathe rarely. The safest way to clean any dirt or blood from your body is to use a gentle cloth, cotton swabs, or cotton pads. Remember, any scrapes your body receives will never heal up! Be as soft on your skin as possible, and avoid needing to wash yourself often. Brushing your hair often is inadvisable. A good way to keep your hair where it belongs is to avoid running your hands through it, styling it, or constantly wearing and removing head gear. It's recommended to keep your hair above your chin line, or wear it up. Oil can remove most tangles. You don't need to worry about brushing your teeth, as any microbes in your mouth will have long since been broken down for proteins by your virus.

Q.) Why can't I see color, and why do my eyes glow?
A.) There's nothing wrong with not being able to see in color aside from inconvenience. Many, but not all, zombies have damaged cone cells in their eyes. Damaging these cones interferes with the eye's ability to pick up color. Another possible disconnect is that damage to the brain has caused you to not receive the color signals your eyes are sending you. If one of your eyes sees in color and the other does not, the inconvenience cannot be remedied. It may help you to cover the eye you would rather not see from.

Every zombie's eyes glow in the darkness if they've absorbed sufficient light. Scientists have noted that the viruses in the eye produce the chemical Zinc Sulfide, a type of phosphor, which is activated by ultraviolet light and in turn produces its own light. If the glow in your eyes dies down quickly, it could mean that you have low levels of these elements in your body, or haven't absorbed enough light during the day. Don't worry if the glow in your eyes dies down; Scientists have determined that this effect, while novel, is nearly useless because of the low intensity of the glow. As of now we are uncertain why this chemical combination occurs, and why it only appears in the eyes, (only 1 in 100,000 zombies produces this glow from their teeth and/or wounds, recent studies show.)

Q.) Which parts of my body should I be able to feel with?
A.) This varies from zombie to zombie. Generally all zombies have sense of touch in the hands, head, and arms, with functional pain receptors in the head. Originally this functioned as a way to let the zombie know when it had grabbed on to something and to help with control while holding down a person or animal to consume. Pain in the head functioned as a way to remind the zombie that it needed to protect its head and face from damage. Light-induced eye pain should be the strongest sensation in your body and, because of long periods of painlessness or exposure to the dark, can be crippling.

Q.) Why are animals so strange around me?
A.) Death makes all animals uncomfortable, and the mobile deceased unnerve most animals because to them, it's simply not right. If your pet feels uncomfortable around you, try inviting a living friend or two over to calm him down while you prove you're not trying to harm him. It may only take a few minutes for your pet to realize you're his friend, or it could take weeks to regain his trust. Eventually, though, your animal will learn to love you like he always did.

Q.) If I take good care of my body, how long can I expect to live?
A.) The simple answer is that we don't know. Scientists have yet to determine how long a well-cared-for zombie can last. The first time the infection was publicly encountered was November, 1981. As of the printing of this pamphlet, that accounts for only two years of research into the workings of the virus on the body. Some scientists expect that the body could sustain its self for no longer than twenty years, while others claim that with good luck and extreme care, a zombie could theoretically live one hundred years or more.


Pamphlet (c) U.S. Department of Undead Safety, November 1983, in compliance with acts four (4) through eight (8), ten (10) and twelve (12). For legal distribution in all hospitals. Printed in Manhattan, Nebraska. Do not reprint.